Sometimes, as I view the world through my grey and suffocating bubble it seems so horrid that I wonder how I am to continue to exist within it.

There is a part of my angst-ridden melodramatic teenage mind that has not thoroughly succumbed to scepticism. This part (which dreams of handsome princes and forces me to purchase flimsy dresses which make me feel like a fairy but fall apart after an hour) believes in angels, and fate, and countless other things which would disgust my philosophy teacher. It believes that sometimes, someone far away sends us the things we need to help us through our lives.

I have been sent far more that what I need to get through my life. I am sorry for the times I do not appreciate that, and the times I allow myself to drown in my melancholy, and the times when I take my blessings for granted.

I am sorry for all those people who have never experienced unconditional friendship, because it is the most beautiful thing another human can offer you. And I am so careless with it. If someone offered you a jewel - priceless and exquisite - would you not wrap it carefully and keep it safe? Or place it on display and admire it in astonishment? Of course. Yet I am so flippant with mine, so unthinking, I play football with it, I leave it out in the rain, I scratch away at its shining surface. I am sorry for those who would treat this friendship with more care - those who deserve it yet cannot have it.

This entry is for all those who wouldn't value a friendship above a jewel (yep, even the huuuuuuge fuck off diamond in the rescuers). And for dirtygirl, for the chicken and the beautiful music and the laughter ringing through freezing train stations and all the times I've been careless and stupid and selfish, and all the times I will again, and all the times...just for all the times.

< - >

* the marks of memories forgotten
* wasting emotions, over again
* intentions, and such
* nothing unusual, nothing's changed - just a little older, that's all (damien rice : amie)
* now I understand! It doesn't make sense because it isn't supposed to