I stared at the add an entry screen for almost fifteen minutes before confiding in bestfriend that I couldn't think of a thing to write about. My head just completely emptied of ideas. I decided to keep it simple and a 'proper diary entry' about what I did today, and still, no words. I couldn't remember anything I'd done. I couldn't even remember what I had for lunch. (I share this with you purely as an example of my deteriating mental health, so that if at some point I come over all Mariah Carey and write a huge ranting entry about how my record company ruined my life, none of you will be able to say "Well we never saw this coming!")It was then agreed (by me and...well, by me anyway) that bestfriend would suggests topics I could write about. Bestfriend does not have a diary. I quickly discovered the reason why. Her sole suggestion for an entry topic was a boy in our philosophy class. (A boy, not Boy, although coincidentally Boy is in our philosophy class. But she didn't suggest talking about him, so I won't. Except to say (Legal Disclosure: single people please look away, I will not be help responsible for any tubs of ice cream destroyed in depression brought on by reading this)that he fits into my life like he's always been a part of it, and I can't imagine why I ever wasted time kissing anyone else.). So, philosophy boy. He bears an incredibly close resemblance to exboyfriend's bestfriend, he talks about two topics - philosophy and smoking weed - and he spends an inordinate amount of time staring at myself or bestfriend (since we spend an inordinate amount of time together its a little difficult to work out which). Perhaps we smell of illegal substances. Bestfriend is tall and slim. Perhaps he is wondering how much like a joint she would look if he wound her in a white sheet and died her hair red. I shall arrange a fancy dress party and suggest it to her. (Legal Disclaimer: not really). Perhaps he heard her singing "Underneath your clothes, there's a naked man-whore..." and is waiting for the next song she's written about him. Perhaps next time I'll think of my own entry topics.
< - >
* the marks of memories forgotten
* wasting emotions, over again
* intentions, and such
* nothing unusual, nothing's changed - just a little older, that's all (damien rice : amie)
* now I understand! It doesn't make sense because it isn't supposed to
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