Today's Times made me feel slightly less great about my 4 As. Apparently everybody's getting them these days and Oxbridge are looking for people with a real passion for their subject. Having worked my way through a reading list of WW1 literature (today it was the first of Pat Barker's Regeneration trilogy) I feel more depressed than passionate. "Never mind," consoled my mother. "When you finish you can get back to the lesbians." I have yet to email my english teacher detailing what feminist literature I've been reading...mostly because I'd have nothing to tell him.
"Dear English Teacher, I read some Jeanette Winterston but I either disagreed with what she was saying or didn't understand it at all, so I gave up and did The Guardian crossword."
What was that about them giving As to anyone? (Having thought about this fact, I have to note that I attend a normal state comprehensive where the classes are too big, there aren't enough books and the heating doesn't work, and yet at least five people in my year got 4 As. If this is common throughout the country, and increased for better colleges than ours, then maybe it isn't just media exagerration.)I really think its time to move. Somehow I've developed this idea that a change of virtual scenery would automatically prompt me to write something meaningful and...well, good, rather than my current drivel about hangovers and future husbands and shoes (incidentally, my mother bought me the most beautiful shoes this weekend - they're tweed and kitten heeled and pointy toed and just good). Its quite clearly not true. And really, is it just me or can one spend a little too long thinking about an online diary? Anyway I'm far too busy developing a passion for literature. Or possibly just listening to Ani Di Franco, eating cheesecake and admiring my shoes. Whichever.
< - >
* the marks of memories forgotten
* wasting emotions, over again
* intentions, and such
* nothing unusual, nothing's changed - just a little older, that's all (damien rice : amie)
* now I understand! It doesn't make sense because it isn't supposed to
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