I'm sitting at the table in his kitchen nursing a hangover. He's hyperactive - he turns on the kettle, do I want coffee? No. Turns it off. Turns on the television. Turns on the kettle, again. Changes channels, 1, 3, 4, 2, 5, off again. Turns the radio on. The kettle boils. Turns the radio off. Pours the boiled water into the sink. He didn't want coffee either. Radio on again, changes station. Opens fridge. Opens cupboards. Fills a glass with water, pours it away again. Radio off. I'm laughing. What? Nothing, I tell him. Just you. He kisses me, quickly, suddenly, his lips touch mine and he's moved back, leaning, watching me. What? Nothing, he tells me. Just you.

He catches an eyelash from my cheek with his finger. Presses all his fingers together so I can't see which one holds my eyelash. Tells me to make five wishes, one for each finger. I do. The one with the eyelash will come true. He opens his fingers, I blow away the eyelash. He tells me he's jealous. He wants to make a wish. He keeps perfectly still while I pull out an eyelash, I hide it as he did. He considers for a long time before announcing he's ready. I show him which finger has the eyelash . It wasn't the one he wanted. He blows it away anyway. We don't tell our wishes, or they won't come true.

Before all that. I'm almost asleep, he's lying next to me in the dark, stroking my bare back. What do I look for in a boy? I'm too sleepy to think the answer through. Someone I don't understand, so I can try to work them out, and fail and realise I like them because there's things I don't understand. I ask what he looks for in girls, even though I don't want to know the answer. He wants someone he can looks after. Does he think I need looking after? His fingers trace my spine as he answers. "No".

< - >

* the marks of memories forgotten
* wasting emotions, over again
* intentions, and such
* nothing unusual, nothing's changed - just a little older, that's all (damien rice : amie)
* now I understand! It doesn't make sense because it isn't supposed to