I've always been a bit pissed of with nature for the physical package it gave me. I mean, here I am, an intelligent, witty, easily delusioned girl just waiting to be worshipped as the next J Lo...

...and nature made me short and chubby. With mousy brown hair, dull grey eyes and the type of skin that completely refuses to tan. I'm not hideously ugly but I'm not the sort of girl people look twice at (mainly because the fact that I'm talking to myself/singing loudly and off-key means they didn't look away in the first place).

But today, I realised how lucky I actually am. I did it in my usual shallow middle class way, not by helping disabled children or raising money for cancer victims, but by visiting the opticians with my very badly sighted best friend.

She has worn glasses for years and finally persuaded her parents it was time to get contacts, which, due to the incredibly strong prescription she needs, need to be gas permeable. She put them in for the first time and we waited for them to adjust. Finally, when they stopped hurting and the itchiness had calmed down, she realised she still couldn't see. So, back to the drawing board.

For once, I felt proud of my body and immensely lucky to have perfect vision. And the feeling of satisfaction made me think about the rest of my body - how all my limbs and organs function fine (despite the fact that I drink, smoke, don't get enough sleep, completely refuse to exercise and generally am nasty to my body) and how I could have much bigger physical problems than just not being gorgeous.

It made me feel quite selfish.

But don't worry, I shouldn't think that'll last long.

< - >

* the marks of memories forgotten
* wasting emotions, over again
* intentions, and such
* nothing unusual, nothing's changed - just a little older, that's all (damien rice : amie)
* now I understand! It doesn't make sense because it isn't supposed to