And so, the local-girl sexy boy saga (which isn't a saga anywhere but in local-girl's head, and not even really there. she's just always wanted to feature in a saga)continues. As I told some girl I met in the toilets of my new favourite place on earth last night, I don't know why he makes me act so stupid. I like myself and if people don't like me then I see it as their problem, but this boy has got under my skin and I just know I'd do anything to have him. And I don't know what he wants - if I'm honest and upfront then its too much for him, I'm too confident. If I'm cool and non-pushy then I'm acting like I'm not interested and how was he to know? And I just can't give up. Damn him.

Last night, after seeing his band play and falling further into obsession with him, I was all ready to go home and eat biscuits and sulk. I sincerely hope that at some point in your life you experience friendship as wonderful as that which I receive from bestfriend (who will read this) and beks (who won't). I was persuaded to stay by the free drinks and to dance by...the free drinks and my night was fantastic. Tonight beks and hannah get the pleasure of my company. Then hannah and I will stay up all night eating ice cream and crying.

I guess sometimes I'm a high maintenance friend (and a crappy speller)but I love you girls. Sexy boys may get under my skin but my girls are in my lips when I smile, my eyes when I laugh, my hair when it shines, my heart. I love you more than strong black coffee and anadin and marlboro lights.

< - >

* the marks of memories forgotten
* wasting emotions, over again
* intentions, and such
* nothing unusual, nothing's changed - just a little older, that's all (damien rice : amie)
* now I understand! It doesn't make sense because it isn't supposed to